Post by smokinghorse on May 20, 2016 20:57:45 GMT -7
Gram got new shoes today. He's 9 years old. Here are his shoes next to my size 9 1/2 grown ass woman shoes.
This is ridiculous and upsetting. You have no idea. I have these two big kids, and this baby. These are the shoes for the baby! Do these look like fucking baby shoes to you???!!! Can't we just pause life?? He wanted to cuddle today. Every day he wants to cuddle, I try to burn it into my brain - his little boy smell, his cheek, his inevitable squirming giggle fest at one of our stupid inside jokes - because now I know from experience that it could be the last one. It's the most painful part of parenting for me. The lasts. I know there will always be firsts, but the lasts just kill me. Mostly because you only recognize them when they're fuzzy and faded in the rear view mirror. The details are unknowable, you're not even sure when you lost it. You just know it's gone.
I'm so sappy right now. Last full day of 3rd grade, I guess. Plus these damn shoes.
This is ridiculous and upsetting. You have no idea. I have these two big kids, and this baby. These are the shoes for the baby! Do these look like fucking baby shoes to you???!!! Can't we just pause life?? He wanted to cuddle today. Every day he wants to cuddle, I try to burn it into my brain - his little boy smell, his cheek, his inevitable squirming giggle fest at one of our stupid inside jokes - because now I know from experience that it could be the last one. It's the most painful part of parenting for me. The lasts. I know there will always be firsts, but the lasts just kill me. Mostly because you only recognize them when they're fuzzy and faded in the rear view mirror. The details are unknowable, you're not even sure when you lost it. You just know it's gone.
I'm so sappy right now. Last full day of 3rd grade, I guess. Plus these damn shoes.
