kissy
OG
I want a new drug...
Posts: 855 
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Post by kissy on Dec 15, 2015 14:45:03 GMT -7
Like me. I mean, he loves going outside to play--when he has other children to play with. He enjoys being around his friends and going to their house or having them come over. But there are times when he just wants to be home, he likes being home.
J can't stand it. He's always going going going. And whenever Ryan protests about going somewhere he gets his panties in a wad. Soccer is a perfect example. Ryan enjoyed playing soccer but he would fuss more often than not about practice and sometimes games although he did admit he likes the games more (normal, right?). He's in Cub scouts and he LOVES it, and usually he doesn't protest but I guess this afternoon when J mentioned they had a meeting tonight he complained. And of course J is just beside himself.
I think it's normal to a degree, and for Ryan, because I'm such a homebody, I wonder if it's just his personality.
Help me!
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Post by nomorewirehanger on Dec 15, 2015 15:23:22 GMT -7
I'm like y'all. I fucking hate leaving my home. On days I have to leave my home I'm excessively cranky. Particularly since it's never for anything fun for me. So I kinda feel what Ryan's putting down.
I will say. I'm an asshole about of they sign up for an activity? You're fucking going. Particularly a team sport. Unless you're sick. Tough titty. I don't wanna go either. But we are going. Not only is it a monetary thing but it's a commitment thing. Errands. Fuck. No one likes those. I avoid bringing the children if I can help it. Because I don't wanna go either. Not gonna make us ALL miserable if I don't have to. But if it's for THEM? I'm kinda with J. Sthu and get in the car. You signed up you're going.
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kissy
OG
I want a new drug...
Posts: 855
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Post by kissy on Dec 15, 2015 15:35:35 GMT -7
Yes! We do the same, if he signed up for something he HAS to finish it out. And the thing is, he ALWAYS has fun when he gets there! But yeah, if he chooses to do something he has to finish and typically I just ignore the bitching, J can't seem to do that. He really lets it get under his skin and he aways thinks something is wrong with Ry. Sigh.
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Post by smokinghorse on Dec 15, 2015 16:16:43 GMT -7
Same here. I isolate. I get a lot of shit about it from AA folks. Because I was an at home drinker, so they all worry. I love being home. I love being alone. I don't get lonely at all. I don't miss people. People are like obstacles that keep me from being at home. I want to get out, do what I need to do, and go home.
Chuck is in motion all day. Up at 5, literally doesn't stop moving until 8 p.m. G likes to do things, but he likes to just chill a lot at home. I've noticed that movers and shakers tend to feel disdain towards homebody types. Like they can't imagine why people don't want to be in constant motion.
I agree on the sports thing. You signed up, you're going. It's about responsibility and accountability, both of which seem to be in short supply these days.
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kissy
OG
I want a new drug...
Posts: 855
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Post by kissy on Dec 15, 2015 16:30:48 GMT -7
Disdain--great word. So true. I feel it from J, and no matter how I try to explain it he just doesn't get it. And we do stuff but J is big on 'comparing' and we have a friends who always seem on the go--and in that, they are always exhausted and complaining about how busy they are. And I'm like, um, you know you have control over that, right?
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Post by ronin on Dec 15, 2015 16:48:03 GMT -7
Same here with the activities. I wouldn't make my kids participate or encourage them beyond their own enthusiasm, but they have to finish what they start. Luckily, they don't start much.
Brian and I are also homebodies. I love my home and I love being home. I keep telling everyone at work that if we won the lottery, they would never see me again. We would buy an isolated house somewhere (with Internet access of course) and just become hermits.
When people try to insinuate that I must be bored - just because they would be - I just laugh and tell them that we never run out of things to do. I also point out that we've spent more on our house than anything else and it's not such a strange thing to want to spend time with our investment.
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kissy
OG
I want a new drug...
Posts: 855
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Post by kissy on Dec 15, 2015 17:02:23 GMT -7
That's me! Why pay so much for a house and then not spend any time there?? I don't get it! I love my house--I love my smaller house better now but even when I lived in the other house I loved being there too. And I love that in my new house ryan loves to GO OUTSIDE and play. He doesn't do that at the other house. Lots of people there tend to have their kids so over scheduled they're never home and always doing other things. Kids in this neighborhood are actually outside playing. I love it.
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Post by nomorewirehanger on Dec 15, 2015 18:37:15 GMT -7
My kids have learned "I'm bored" gets them locked outside with a water jug Lol entertain yourself. we have beautiful weather 8 out of 10 days.
Go.
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Post by nomorewirehanger on Dec 15, 2015 18:39:21 GMT -7
Brennan and his mom are go go go people but oddly. Like.. They leave the house constantly to accomplish nothing but if its things that NEED to be done neither wants to go and they WILL show up in pajamas like... To dinner and shit. Irks the crap out of Larry Lol "taking the family out to eat. Bring Brennan."
14 year old apparently ran around town all day looking like people of Walmart poster child. Lol
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Post by smokinghorse on Dec 15, 2015 18:40:13 GMT -7
And we do stuff but J is big on 'comparing' and we have a friends who always seem on the go In AA we call this, "Comparing your insides to other people's outsides." People do it all the time. We do it so regularly that we don't even realize it. But when you do realize it, it's damn freeing when you stop. |
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kissy
OG
I want a new drug...
Posts: 855
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Post by kissy on Dec 15, 2015 18:54:09 GMT -7
I've let it go, he has not. We have one friend who had a terrible childhood with her mother, her daughter is awful. She's gone to the opposite extreme with everything--and i'm not alone in this assessment. But yeah, her kid is awful and I'm glad Ry isn't like her, but damn, he's got to stop comparing!
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Post by nomorewirehanger on Dec 15, 2015 23:37:33 GMT -7
It's really hard to do. But like they said ... So freeing. When I finally said ... Just no to dance classes forever?
I didn't realize how much stress that was putting on us as a family and financially it was AWFUL. And neither of my girls is destined to be a dancer. They just aren't. Lana has natural abilities athletically that lend themselves well to dance but even she is just NOT a dancer. I'm a big believer in that with at least the ARTSY stuff? Kids show abilities young. Gabby has no coordination whatsoever and even less drive. A bit of booty shake ability is all Lana has. Penny never got to try but she's not what one would call graceful. Lol sure it's fun and cute but after a certain age? If your kid isn't gonna teach dance and frankly isn't good... Unless they just have NO other exercise? .
.why.
Not dragging them to yet another activity has been great Lol. Penny liked soccer but I don't think it's her " thing" she wants to penny smash things so we are gonna try tae kwan doe. Why not. Could be great!
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kissy
OG
I want a new drug...
Posts: 855
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Post by kissy on Dec 16, 2015 7:47:59 GMT -7
I'd like to have Ryan try martial arts, too. I need to just take him to a class and let him watch. J was bummed when we didn't stick with ice hockey--um, all ryan liked to do was learn to ice skate and push the puck around with a stick. He HATED going to the professional hockey games--too violent. He's not an aggressive kid, and I'm not going to pay for a bunch of hockey stuff if he's not going to take it anywhere!
But yeah, sometimes he just likes to stay home. I don't see anything wrong with that.
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