The Rapey 80s

ronin
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The Rapey 80s Nov 18, 2015 8:52:01 GMT -7 smokinghorse likes this

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Post by ronin on Nov 18, 2015 8:52:01 GMT -7

I got a weird urge this weekend to binge listen to 80s pop songs. I wish I hadn't. Pandora ruined my childhood with it's lyrics that are just so handy to click on any time it occurred to me that I wasn't sure what the singer was garbling.

80s pop music was extremely creepy, stalkery and kinda had rapey tendencies. Every song that came on took me back to my childhood, and then covered it in a layer of pervy slime. I don't know what I thought these songs were about, I guess I just didn't care until now. They're just so fricking catchy. I ain't right anymore.

The worst offenders:

This one was obvious, but it came on in the middle of everything else, so it got added to the list.

Run Eileen!!! Run for your life!

I didn't really care about this song too much, but I also couldn't understand what the dude was screeching. This was probably the best of the worst:

Didn't really care about this song either, but it's horrible.

I love this song, but not the completely oppressive male parts. She don't owe you anything, fucker!

I need to get out more.

smokinghorse
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The Rapey 80s Nov 18, 2015 11:26:17 GMT -7 via mobile ronin and kissy like this

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Post by smokinghorse on Nov 18, 2015 11:26:17 GMT -7

Sometimes, I feel like we, the generation who made these songs popular and enabled the success of the artists in that era, should just apologize en masse to the world for 80's pop culture. We're sorry. We didn't realize. You have to understand that we were living in an oxygen-deprived haze of Aquanet and it made us like synthsizers and electric blue. We were brain damaged. How else can you explain leg warmers? In those times, we were ripe for the picking, we were just desperate for something, anything to replace disco. It was a rebound decade, a mass rejection of leisure suits and polyester. It's painful to think about. It went too far.

I guess it's only fair that the unadulterated, inarguably worst song of all time, "The Final Countdown" has risen from the ashes to incite flashbacks we've tried so hard to bury. They go right for the jugular and force us to remember the horror we inflicted. That's why you find us huddled together, shaking and crying at a Geico commercial. We deserve it. We brought this on ourselves.

smokinghorse OG Posts: 831	The Rapey 80s Nov 18, 2015 11:27:56 GMT -7 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by smokinghorse on Nov 18, 2015 11:27:56 GMT -7 But Duran Duran? I won't apologize for them. Wild Boys always shine.

kissy
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I want a new drug...

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The Rapey 80s Nov 18, 2015 15:00:21 GMT -7

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Post by kissy on Nov 18, 2015 15:00:21 GMT -7

This reminds me of the time my dad bitched at me about Bon Jovi--why did I listen to that stuff and did I even understand the lyrics?? Then one day I asked him about Hotel California, what it was about, he told me he didn't know he just liked it for the beat of the music. Riiiight!

ronin I Live Here Now Posts: 850	The Rapey 80s Nov 18, 2015 21:36:00 GMT -7 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ronin on Nov 18, 2015 21:36:00 GMT -7 I'm okay with Duran Duran, I love Ordinary World, but Hungry Like The Wolf is just too creepy.

smokinghorse
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The Rapey 80s Nov 18, 2015 22:41:04 GMT -7 via mobile

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Post by smokinghorse on Nov 18, 2015 22:41:04 GMT -7

Nov 18, 2015 21:36:00 GMT -7 ronin said:

I'm okay with Duran Duran, I love Ordinary World, but Hungry Like The Wolf is just too creepy.

Well, I understand your position, it was pretty carnal. But because I was eventually going to be married to John Taylor, I thought it was pretty damn sexy. Oh, Johnny. It's been 30 years and I'd still climb him like a fucking tree.

Post by ronin on Nov 18, 2015 8:52:01 GMT -7

Post by smokinghorse on Nov 18, 2015 11:26:17 GMT -7

Post by smokinghorse on Nov 18, 2015 11:27:56 GMT -7

Post by kissy on Nov 18, 2015 15:00:21 GMT -7

Post by ronin on Nov 18, 2015 21:36:00 GMT -7

Post by smokinghorse on Nov 18, 2015 22:41:04 GMT -7

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